To mark Cholangiocarcinoma Awareness Month, Zoë Schreiber and her mother, Gayle, reflect on their rare cancer journey and the importance of prioritizing community.
Cancer has a ruthless way of stripping life down to its bare essentials.
When cholangiocarcinoma entered our lives, it didn’t just do so in the way of scans, treatments, and uncertainty; it had given us no choice but to look at the world from a different perspective. It forced my family to look closely at what truly matters. What we have learned together is that life is not measured by success, milestones, achievements, or plans fulfilled. Life is measured by meaningful relationships.
As I sat in the hospital with my mother on one of the most gut-wrenching days of my life, I saw a quote and I felt at peace:
“Life is all about relationships.”
At a time when everything felt uncertain — when scans, treatments, and timelines blurred together — that message cut through all of the noise. No, life is not about winning. Life is not about control, nor is life about checking boxes. Relationships. Life is about relationships. It felt painfully true, and somehow grounding all at once.
As a mother, being diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma was terrifying. There was fear, grief, and the painful realization that so much was suddenly out of her control. But there was also something unexpected: an outpouring of love, which would truly be an understatement. Friends who showed up as family and nurses who felt like guardians. Doctors who listened to her, truly listened, not just to her symptoms but to fears and everything in between. Cancer may have taken so much from my family, but it revealed a depth of connection that had always existed, just waiting to be seen.
As a daughter, stepping into the role of a caregiver reshaped me and altered me in ways I didn’t even know were possible. Watching your mom, the one person that loves you most in this world and understands you in ways beyond comprehension, navigate this foreign world of cancer with uncertainty, strength, and courage all at once changes you. It deepens empathy. It teaches patience. It teaches how powerful it is to sit quietly with someone, even when there are no answers. Some of the most meaningful moments weren’t big conversations— they were sitting through eight-hour chemo days, holding hands in the doctors waiting rooms, laughing at something so absurd in the middle of a hard day. Those moments became sacred and precious.
Cholangiocarcinoma is rare, and that rarity can feel isolating. But community, especially through advocacy organizations like TargetCancer Foundation, reminds us that no one walks this path alone.
One of the most profound lessons has been the way cancer clarifies and magnifies love. It removes all of the noise, even in the loudest room. Petty grievances fall away. When the noise is silenced, all that is left is love, gratitude, and presence. We say “I love you” more. We mean it differently now. We celebrate good days without guilt and allow ourselves grace on the hard ones.
Cancer has taught us that relationships don’t require perfection — relationships need purpose and intention.
February is Cholangiocarcinoma Awareness Month. During this time, we want to honor not just those fighting this disease, but the caregivers, families, friends, researchers, and advocates who form the invisible net holding patients up. Relationships are what keep us going when the path is full of uncertainty. They are what give meaning to this fight against cancer.